Do you have a process for defeating disappointment in your life? I do. I wrote a whole chapter about it in my book, “The 7D’s to your Destiny.” Defeating disappointment is always easier said than done, but it can be done.
When we’re disappointed, we sometimes forget that we’re humans and instead think that we’re pigs. We wallow in the mud, because we think it makes us feel better. I’m all for venting but we must put a limit on it so we can move forward. I try my best to nail that coffin of disappointment shut when I go to bed each night.
When I wake up the next day, I force myself to start thinking about solutions. What actions do I need to take to turn around the situation? I work hard to be solution-oriented. That’s my favorite way to defeat disappointment. I think it has to do with the power that comes over me when I take action. Even if it’s not the right solution, the power of taking action seems to create a positive feeling in me. Even the wrong steps can lead us to the next step, which can get us to the desired outcome.
Another key to defeating disappointment is to build momentum to get out of the rut. Arriving at possible solutions helps to rock your tires back and forth and before you know it, you are out of the rut and onto real progress. I’ll try something for a while and if it doesn’t work, I’ll search for another solution. And if that doesn’t work, what do you think I do? You guessed it. I will try something else.
Life is filled with choices and we must choose to see the good in everything, even in the bad. Bad things can make you stronger, if you allow them to make you better and not bitter. Let’s dissect the word “bitter” for a minute. What does it mean to be bitter? From my perspective, it’s that you’re angry at the world or angry at the person or situation that caused you pain.
Disappointment can turn to anger and bitterness at the speed of light. Bitterness refuses to acknowledge its rival, sweetness. I’ve always said that anger is the most worthless emotion. It doesn’t hurt the person you’re angry with. It only hurts you. Chances are you’ve already endured enough pain from the situation. There are those rare people who use anger to motivate themselves to do better but, more often than not, it can eat you alive.
Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have found that bitterness can lead to a slew of problems; They include poor relationships, mental health issues, anxiety, stress, hostility, high blood pressure, depression, a weakened immune system, heart problems and poor self-esteem.
I only have space to share one more tip to help you defeat disappointment and I say this a lot: Choose joy!
Let go of the myth that you should always be happy. Happiness is an emotion that’s contingent upon things that happen to you, things that you often have no control over, like the weather, someone else’s attitude, the day of the week, or someone on social media who seems to be having a better day than you.
I have a little red glitter Christmas ornament that sits on my desk all year long that spells “JOY” as a reminder that joy is a choice. I choose joy and I hope you will too. It can help you defeat disappointment and gain perspective. When you realize you have the power to choose and take action to defeat disappointment, your focus shifts in the right direction.
Amy Burkett is the host of WTVP’s Leadership Series,
a multi-regional Emmy Award-winning journalist, author
of “The 7D’s to Your Destiny” and a certified
John Maxwell trainer, speaker and coach
