Growing up, we never did family vacations. Dad always had a vacation from mom and us kids on his annual fishing trip. Mom always greeted that week with as much enthusiasm as he did, and I never felt deprived as we had three months away from school. What else does a kid need?
Later in life, I discovered that when you have small children, it is important to find a relative who won’t mind watching the kids while you enjoy some time alone. Vacations can help cure certain phobias. I quickly got over my fear of flying while planning a vacation to California. Of course I wanted to drive, but I made plane reservations after thoughtful consideration of my husband’s question: “Do you really want to spend three days in the car with these two?”
After being empty-nesters for many years, my husband and I finally decided to take our dream trip to Hawaii. It was to be the most romantic vacation ever, but catching some sort of bug before we went left me less perky than I had planned to be. We had a great time, but as far as I am concerned, “Sex on the Beach” is still just the name of a drink.
My husband takes golf trips with the boys, and I take similar trips with the girls. We agree that we need these types of “breaks.” I really don’t want to think too much about what goes on with the boys, though it doesn’t take a lot of imagination. I do know there is a certain element of silliness that is allowed and certainly expected when women take a few days together.
The reason all-girl trips are so important is that they are based on friendship. In their book, I Know Just What You Mean, Ellen Goodman and Patricia O’Brien tell us that friendship matters to women. “Women today depend on friends more than ever. Many who once believed that family was the center of life now know that friends may be the difference between a lonely life and a lively one.” A UCLA study on friendship among women suggests that such relationships are special. They sooth our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriages and help us remember who we really are. According to the report, scientists now suspect that hanging out with friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis.
So we now know the answer to a healthy life—make good friends and take trips with them. The travel industry has a great variety of organized girlfriend trips, but I tend to think the unorganized ones work best.
Earlier this summer, Kay, my closest friend from high school, sent me an email (she never calls) and suggested that we take a birthday trip to Las Vegas. We are one day apart in age—Kay being the elder. She lives in Idaho, but we can always count on seeing each other at our class reunion every five years. We did do Vegas to celebrate one of our of first “Senior Milestone” birthdays several years ago, but that trip included another friend, so this would be the first trip the two of us have taken alone together. Our communication had been pretty sketchy lately, so I was a little apprehensive about spending four days with just her. Not to worry—it was my best vacation!
When we connected at the airport, it was like we were in high school again! It was such a great time—laughing, eating, gambling and, best of all, just hanging out. Of course, with two older women running around, one could imagine some sort of mischief might ensue. We had lots of fun telling people we were celebrating our birthdays and Kay would add that she was one day older. I would counter with, “We are actually twins but it took Mom an extra day to get me extricated.”
On Kay’s birthday, we visited a casino populated by many drunken ladies, so we decided to drink healthily by including cranberry juice in our beverages. When we left that casino, we saw a kiosk where you could make a video of yourself (and a friend) in which the camera shoots only your head and attaches it to dancing bodies. We decided to go for it, sitting on stools with a drape over us, leaving only our heads exposed. We could watch the action on the monitor in the booth while the gathering crowd watched outside. I cannot remember laughing so hard for as long as we did. We went through three songs with our heads attached to young, skinny bodies dancing like crazy!
After the taping, we went outside the booth to watch the whole video and laughed some more. A woman came up to us and said, “You go, girls—if I was here with my girlfriend, I would be doing this too, but I’m here with my husband.” Enough said! We had decided that not everything would “stay in Vegas,” as we had our video, and, best of all, we took home a new appreciation of our friendship. TPW