What’d I Miss?
If you’re eating right now, my advice is to put your sandwich down before you continue reading: It’s going to get dirty. It occurred to me last week that it had been four days since my cat had done her business in her litter box. That seemed like a long time, so I called the vet.
They couldn’t squeeze the cat in for a visit that day, so the vet recommended giving her a little canned pumpkin (who knew?) to get things moving again. I bought the pumpkin on my way home from work, but upon returning home, I realized the cat had used her litter box without help from the canned pumpkin. So I didn’t think any more about it.
Until two days later. I was sitting in my living room, and something about the fireplace, which is all of three feet away from the couch, struck me as not quite right. Taking a closer look, I discovered that the lumps in the ashes weren’t just big sticks. I’ll stop right there-I’m sure you get the idea. Apparently, the cat wasn’t constipated-just bored with her usual routine.
And why, you may ask, had I not noticed the problem with the fireplace before then? If you knew me, it wouldn’t surprise you. I am, quite possibly, the most unobservant person in the world.
I spent four years in newspaper journalism at the beginning of my career. I knew it was time to get out, however, when I drove right past a huge car accident-flame-engulfed cars and all-without taking notice of this important news story. That’s when I got into editing. I can spot a misplaced modifier quicker than you can dangle a participle. But a car on fire in the middle of the road? There’s virtually no chance that I’ll see it.
Another example: Several years and one car ago, I was having lunch with my father at a local restaurant. As we were walking to the parking lot after the meal, he said, "Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you what happened to the hood of your car."
Totally confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he said, "that the entire right side of your hood has been smashed in for the last month. How’d that happen?"
I had no idea because I hadn’t noticed the monstrous dent. And, much to my father’s astonishment (he had given me the car after taking really good care of it), I never did figure out what had happened to the hood. Coincidentally, he also never gave me another car.
Another perfect illustration of this little eccentricity occurred last weekend, when my fella was trying to decide whether to buy ice at the grocery store to fill up a cooler stocked with cold cuts. "Does your fridge have an icemaker?" he asked. "That would save me a trip."
"I have no idea," I replied. "I don’t think so."
"What do you mean you have no idea? You’ve lived here for two years," he responded.
I told him that didn’t change the fact that I honestly had no idea whether the fridge had an icemaker. Checking the back of the fridge, he said, "You have a water line to the fridge, which means you have an icemaker."
Well, what do you know? I have an icemaker.
A couple of hours later, we were contemplating dinner plans. Since it was a lovely evening, we thought cooking out might be nice. "But you don’t have a grill, do you?" he asked.
"Mmmm, don’t know. Let’s check the garage."
I could tell he was about to ask the same question about how I could not know if I had a grill, so I pre-empted him. "I know I didn’t buy one, but the previous owners may have left a grill in the garage. After all, I didn’t think I had an ice maker, either, and look how that turned out."
Unfortunately, we didn’t find a grill. Oh well, I’m fairly certain I’ll soon discover something else I’ve overlooked that’ll be even better than a grill. That’s really the best part about this particular deficiency: There’s a pretty good chance that every day I’ll discover something that makes me wonder, "How’d I miss that?" TPW
They couldn’t squeeze the cat in for a visit that day, so the vet recommended giving her a little canned pumpkin (who knew?) to get things moving again. I bought the pumpkin on my way home from work, but upon returning home, I realized the cat had used her litter box without help from the canned pumpkin. So I didn’t think any more about it.
Until two days later. I was sitting in my living room, and something about the fireplace, which is all of three feet away from the couch, struck me as not quite right. Taking a closer look, I discovered that the lumps in the ashes weren’t just big sticks. I’ll stop right there-I’m sure you get the idea. Apparently, the cat wasn’t constipated-just bored with her usual routine.
And why, you may ask, had I not noticed the problem with the fireplace before then? If you knew me, it wouldn’t surprise you. I am, quite possibly, the most unobservant person in the world.
I spent four years in newspaper journalism at the beginning of my career. I knew it was time to get out, however, when I drove right past a huge car accident-flame-engulfed cars and all-without taking notice of this important news story. That’s when I got into editing. I can spot a misplaced modifier quicker than you can dangle a participle. But a car on fire in the middle of the road? There’s virtually no chance that I’ll see it.
Another example: Several years and one car ago, I was having lunch with my father at a local restaurant. As we were walking to the parking lot after the meal, he said, "Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you what happened to the hood of your car."
Totally confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he said, "that the entire right side of your hood has been smashed in for the last month. How’d that happen?"
I had no idea because I hadn’t noticed the monstrous dent. And, much to my father’s astonishment (he had given me the car after taking really good care of it), I never did figure out what had happened to the hood. Coincidentally, he also never gave me another car.
Another perfect illustration of this little eccentricity occurred last weekend, when my fella was trying to decide whether to buy ice at the grocery store to fill up a cooler stocked with cold cuts. "Does your fridge have an icemaker?" he asked. "That would save me a trip."
"I have no idea," I replied. "I don’t think so."
"What do you mean you have no idea? You’ve lived here for two years," he responded.
I told him that didn’t change the fact that I honestly had no idea whether the fridge had an icemaker. Checking the back of the fridge, he said, "You have a water line to the fridge, which means you have an icemaker."
Well, what do you know? I have an icemaker.
A couple of hours later, we were contemplating dinner plans. Since it was a lovely evening, we thought cooking out might be nice. "But you don’t have a grill, do you?" he asked.
"Mmmm, don’t know. Let’s check the garage."
I could tell he was about to ask the same question about how I could not know if I had a grill, so I pre-empted him. "I know I didn’t buy one, but the previous owners may have left a grill in the garage. After all, I didn’t think I had an ice maker, either, and look how that turned out."
Unfortunately, we didn’t find a grill. Oh well, I’m fairly certain I’ll soon discover something else I’ve overlooked that’ll be even better than a grill. That’s really the best part about this particular deficiency: There’s a pretty good chance that every day I’ll discover something that makes me wonder, "How’d I miss that?" TPW