Jill Bean: fabulously female
One year ago, Jill Bean, advanced practice nurse and women’s issues expert, opened fabulously female, a new kind of health center for women. "It’s a space where women could come and talk about the ups and downs of everyday living, from personal problems to the social/political issues that specifically influence the ways women think, feel, and act," she explained.
It’s also a place for discussions and seminars on women’s issues ranging from health (anxiety, depression, aging, illness, and sexuality) to relationships (loneliness, anger, alcoholism, and parenting), she said. "I offer personal appointments, as well, for women who wish to discuss issues in a private setting."
Bean has an impressively broad background well suited to her new undertaking. A Peoria native, she received her RN and bachelor of nursing degree from St. Francis College of Nursing, her master’s degree from the University of Illinois-Chicago, and is currently completing her Ph.D. in psychology at Saybrook Graduate Institute in San Francisco. "I’ve worked as a staff and charge nurse in all three local hospitals, as a patient educator for Peoria Day Surgery Center, as a nurse practitioner in the Rural Health Clinics for Kewanee Hospital, as a nurse practitioner in the Methodist Medical Center Emergency Department, and as the director of Clinical Research at Urological Associates. I’m also certified by the American Nurses Credentialing Center and a member of the Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists."
She said the idea for fabulously female grew out of her passion for the community of ordinary, working women she treated as a nurse practitioner. "They would visit me with physical illness or disease symptoms that were compounded by stress, anxiety, and depression. These women all seemed to have periods in life where they struggled through such common experiences as divorce, living with men, children who left home-or wouldn’t leave home-and parents who were aging or dying. Often, these women tried to carry on as normal, not telling the truth to themselves or others because it was too painful. They would rather cope with loss, loneliness, illness, fear, and anger than to have anyone think they weren’t good enough or strong enough to handle life’s ’little’ problems."
The mission of fabulously female, Bean said, is to acknowledge women’s ordinary and extraordinary life experiences. "I’m committed to compassionate listening, sharing, and discussing possibilities with women who are in need of defining and expressing their unique self. Women often feel unheard, even when what they have to say is very important. They’ve typically been told since childhood that they’re to be seen and not heard. This is continually re-enforced throughout our academic, social, and political institutions."
Bean also wanted to help women understand their bodies and how they change. "As a nurse practitioner, I saw many women who didn’t understand the connection between the body and mind. Diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, and even colds and sinusitis contribute to changes in the way we think, feel, and act. And women are especially confused about the mind and body changes that occur in the eight to 10 years around menopause-not to mention the medications and alternative remedies used for treating a passage of sorts for millions of women. Women have a right to know, to understand, to express, and to be supported during this transitional period."
She said one of the most common problems she encounters is women who say they don’t know who they are anymore. "They’ve lost their ’self.’ This happens for so many reasons, but mostly because society expects that woman are the nurturers or the ’second sex,’ as Simone de Beauvoir so aptly describes us. Women are so busy meeting the needs of others-husbands, children, co-workers, parents-that they feel it’s selfish or self-centered to make the time to renew the self. And over time, they’ve repressed their own needs to the point that they no longer even know what or who they are. Regardless of how devoted women may be to watching or reading about caring for the self, few of them really ’walk the talk.’ Over time, this emptiness begins to show up as sadness and depression."
Despite it being more openly discussed in recent years, Bean said there’s still a tremendous stigma about depression. "Women continue to identify it with weakness, feeling that if they were better wives, lovers, mothers, or people, they wouldn’t need to counsel or take medication. I try to educate them with scientific findings to explain there are many complex reasons women suffer from depression. There’s no disgrace. Mild depression is extremely common among women, often showing up in a range of symptoms from feeling tired all the time to lack of energy, enjoyment, or drive."
One of the first things Bean does is ask a woman what triggers her dissatisfaction. "Then we plan ways she can refocus her energy when those specific incidents occur. It’s amazing how quickly women begin to identify something they used to do or what might bring them pleasure-when at first it seemed they had forgotten. If they’re having difficulty, I might offer suggestions, helping them to remember what makes them smile or releases them from the everyday grind. I encourage them to practice whatever gives them pleasure for at least five minutes a day-whether it’s daydreaming, dancing, reading, or even cleaning if they must. In the first week or so, they’ll increase this time as they begin to feel more positive. The whole purpose of fabulously female is to help women discover themselves-to re-affirm their own presence in the world."
Bean said women rarely make an initial appointment with her regarding sexual issues, although there’s a large percentage who go on to discuss the topic once they’re comfortable with her. "Sexuality is a topic that’s also been hushed by our society, and women, in their efforts to be and do what’s expected of them, are ashamed or afraid to admit to no desire or arousal. The encouraging news is women in other societies and cultures are discussing issues of sexuality, allowing women in this country an opportunity to feel more normal and comfortable expressing their needs."
Fabulously female is the culmination of her career training and personal beliefs, Bean said. "I’ve been a nurse since I was 18 years old, and have never had a desire to do anything but care for people. I’ve always been interested in women’s issues, having grown up during the second wave of feminism in the 1970s. My mother and late grandmother were activists in their own ways, influencing my desire to understand and promote women’s ways of knowing."
Since starting her business, Bean said she’s found a tremendously supportive community of women in the area who are interested in increasing their self-awareness. "Women are becoming more confident in their right to seek support. I’m discovering that women are relational-we need each other-and do speak a different language (womanspeak). I, too, was afraid I wouldn’t be accepted, even in my expertise, but I’ve found a warmth and community that reinforces my belief in the power of women and continues to fuel my passion for fabulously female." TPW
It’s also a place for discussions and seminars on women’s issues ranging from health (anxiety, depression, aging, illness, and sexuality) to relationships (loneliness, anger, alcoholism, and parenting), she said. "I offer personal appointments, as well, for women who wish to discuss issues in a private setting."
Bean has an impressively broad background well suited to her new undertaking. A Peoria native, she received her RN and bachelor of nursing degree from St. Francis College of Nursing, her master’s degree from the University of Illinois-Chicago, and is currently completing her Ph.D. in psychology at Saybrook Graduate Institute in San Francisco. "I’ve worked as a staff and charge nurse in all three local hospitals, as a patient educator for Peoria Day Surgery Center, as a nurse practitioner in the Rural Health Clinics for Kewanee Hospital, as a nurse practitioner in the Methodist Medical Center Emergency Department, and as the director of Clinical Research at Urological Associates. I’m also certified by the American Nurses Credentialing Center and a member of the Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists."
She said the idea for fabulously female grew out of her passion for the community of ordinary, working women she treated as a nurse practitioner. "They would visit me with physical illness or disease symptoms that were compounded by stress, anxiety, and depression. These women all seemed to have periods in life where they struggled through such common experiences as divorce, living with men, children who left home-or wouldn’t leave home-and parents who were aging or dying. Often, these women tried to carry on as normal, not telling the truth to themselves or others because it was too painful. They would rather cope with loss, loneliness, illness, fear, and anger than to have anyone think they weren’t good enough or strong enough to handle life’s ’little’ problems."
The mission of fabulously female, Bean said, is to acknowledge women’s ordinary and extraordinary life experiences. "I’m committed to compassionate listening, sharing, and discussing possibilities with women who are in need of defining and expressing their unique self. Women often feel unheard, even when what they have to say is very important. They’ve typically been told since childhood that they’re to be seen and not heard. This is continually re-enforced throughout our academic, social, and political institutions."
Bean also wanted to help women understand their bodies and how they change. "As a nurse practitioner, I saw many women who didn’t understand the connection between the body and mind. Diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, and even colds and sinusitis contribute to changes in the way we think, feel, and act. And women are especially confused about the mind and body changes that occur in the eight to 10 years around menopause-not to mention the medications and alternative remedies used for treating a passage of sorts for millions of women. Women have a right to know, to understand, to express, and to be supported during this transitional period."
She said one of the most common problems she encounters is women who say they don’t know who they are anymore. "They’ve lost their ’self.’ This happens for so many reasons, but mostly because society expects that woman are the nurturers or the ’second sex,’ as Simone de Beauvoir so aptly describes us. Women are so busy meeting the needs of others-husbands, children, co-workers, parents-that they feel it’s selfish or self-centered to make the time to renew the self. And over time, they’ve repressed their own needs to the point that they no longer even know what or who they are. Regardless of how devoted women may be to watching or reading about caring for the self, few of them really ’walk the talk.’ Over time, this emptiness begins to show up as sadness and depression."
Despite it being more openly discussed in recent years, Bean said there’s still a tremendous stigma about depression. "Women continue to identify it with weakness, feeling that if they were better wives, lovers, mothers, or people, they wouldn’t need to counsel or take medication. I try to educate them with scientific findings to explain there are many complex reasons women suffer from depression. There’s no disgrace. Mild depression is extremely common among women, often showing up in a range of symptoms from feeling tired all the time to lack of energy, enjoyment, or drive."
One of the first things Bean does is ask a woman what triggers her dissatisfaction. "Then we plan ways she can refocus her energy when those specific incidents occur. It’s amazing how quickly women begin to identify something they used to do or what might bring them pleasure-when at first it seemed they had forgotten. If they’re having difficulty, I might offer suggestions, helping them to remember what makes them smile or releases them from the everyday grind. I encourage them to practice whatever gives them pleasure for at least five minutes a day-whether it’s daydreaming, dancing, reading, or even cleaning if they must. In the first week or so, they’ll increase this time as they begin to feel more positive. The whole purpose of fabulously female is to help women discover themselves-to re-affirm their own presence in the world."
Bean said women rarely make an initial appointment with her regarding sexual issues, although there’s a large percentage who go on to discuss the topic once they’re comfortable with her. "Sexuality is a topic that’s also been hushed by our society, and women, in their efforts to be and do what’s expected of them, are ashamed or afraid to admit to no desire or arousal. The encouraging news is women in other societies and cultures are discussing issues of sexuality, allowing women in this country an opportunity to feel more normal and comfortable expressing their needs."
Fabulously female is the culmination of her career training and personal beliefs, Bean said. "I’ve been a nurse since I was 18 years old, and have never had a desire to do anything but care for people. I’ve always been interested in women’s issues, having grown up during the second wave of feminism in the 1970s. My mother and late grandmother were activists in their own ways, influencing my desire to understand and promote women’s ways of knowing."
Since starting her business, Bean said she’s found a tremendously supportive community of women in the area who are interested in increasing their self-awareness. "Women are becoming more confident in their right to seek support. I’m discovering that women are relational-we need each other-and do speak a different language (womanspeak). I, too, was afraid I wouldn’t be accepted, even in my expertise, but I’ve found a warmth and community that reinforces my belief in the power of women and continues to fuel my passion for fabulously female." TPW