The statement that impacted me the most this month was from a friend who said, “I received a note from a student who explained how I had changed his life...more than five years earlier. I was so amazed to think I’d actually made a difference!” She then found out the story behind the event in which she had unknowingly played a very important role. There are people who enter our lives, however briefly, and change us forever. And if we’re that agent of change, most of the time we never know.

I stopped to look and listen over the holidays to the expressions and the tone of voice used by those I came in contact with. The smile from a stranger I passed in the hallway, the gruff “there you go” mumble instead of a helpful “sorry for the inconvenience” when returning an item to a retail store. The blank stare of a woman holding her child’s hand. The worried look of a man helping his wife out of the car. The slow pace of a young woman climbing the stairs. The slow pace of an elderly couple pushing a shopping cart.

We all have a history that brings us to the present moment. There’s usually an explanation behind our actions. Day-to-day activities go on in the midst of major life events. The world looks different through different eyes, and our reaction to day-to-day happenings aren’t all the same. Here are a few everyday examples:

• I smile at the singing of a two-year-old in the discount store, remembering the exhaustion of shopping with my own toddlers years ago.
• Being so devastated by recent news of a friend’s terminal illness that I couldn’t see through the tears to pick out groceries.
• I stop to let another car merge in front of me, remembering being confused and lost while driving in a strange area a week ago.
• Being so hurt and angry by the actions of another, I could barely speak, much less in soft, kind tones.
• Without my bifocals, I can’t read the fine print on a product label any more—especially in dim light. I remember my grandmother’s failing eye sight and smile with understanding when thinking about the times she asked me to thread a needle.
• I drive nervously and more slowly down the street, still shaking from a near car accident.
• I listen as a friend talks about her new medical diagnosis, realizing it’s the most important thought on their mind at the moment. I know life can change in an instant.

After my daughter completed her first semester of college, she remarked about how one teacher in high school had so prepared her for a college class. “The other students were lost, but this was review for me,” she said. My husband and I encouraged her to write a note to tell the teacher how he had made a difference. She felt good, and we hope the teacher was rewarded realizing he had really helped at least one student.

This Valentine’s Day—and every chance you get—take a moment to thank someone who’s touched your heart and made a difference in your life. The act will reward you both. TPW