"I just don’t know what to do," said my friend, recounting the accumulation of bad news in her life. But it actually could have been said by me, or many of you, I suspect. Anxiety levels appear to be at an all-time high for most Americans. Many women, including myself, want to "fix things"-everything from bruised knees to broken relationships. I struggle to find solutions to everything from why my office printer doesn’t work to how I can help my daughter select the right college.

When, after a reasonable length of time, a solution isn’t found-even after consulting with experts-it’s natural to become agitated. No wonder, then, that many of us become "unglued" over something that’s minor by itself, but when added to the pile of worries we can’t personally control-terrorist threats, a sagging economy and stock markets, rising medical costs, illness, and some personal situations-our emotional energy is drained.

Mental health experts tell us it’s the result of the onslaught of anonymous, ambiguous, and unpredictable threats that’s triggering all sorts of emotional distress. When people feel there’s nothing they can do, anxiety, anger, depression, and physical illness often follow. We need to feel a sense of control in our lives. Suddenly, control over little things becomes very important when big issues can’t be easily resolved.

Invisible "worms" that take over my e-mail, unsolicited advertisements that pop up on my computer, unfriendly salespeople, rude customer service representatives-or a series of automated responses that don’t allow you to talk to a real person-along with phone calls not returned and promises not kept top my list of frustrations. As our lives become busier and more options are available for how, when, where, and what information we want to access, excuses for errors become unacceptable.

With life so complicated these days, we must learn to better manage our reactions to situations we can’t control. One "expert" suggests people can find relief this holiday season by taking positive actions such as limiting exposure to bad news by listening to a favorite CD rather than the radio or television. Being nice to someone at work, the grocery store, the bank, or a neighbor. Walking or hiking through the woods. Planning a surprise for a loved one. Joining an exercise club, signing up for a yoga class, searching for healthy new recipes, eliminating clutter in your life by organizing your work space-or closet space. Writing in a journal, getting enough rest, decorating for the holidays, or rearranging the furniture. Any and all of these suggestions are just a few ideas within our control and influence.

As I reflect this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that while I can’t "fix" everything I think needs "fixing" in my world, I have the ability to control my attitude. I’m thankful for friends and family who encourage, and remind me that they care. I’m thankful that I can encourage someone, and tell them that I care too. These "little" things I control are really the biggest and most important. TPW