Perhaps it’s because I’ve just had another birthday—and I realize that’s a good thing—but I’ve noticed many more references to “aging baby boomers” than I’d like to see. I’m even noticing favorite big screen actors and actresses are allowing themselves to age a bit, and finding roles that fit their inevitable signs of “wisdom and maturity.”

My friends and I are laughing at ourselves as we start discussing previously unthinkable subjects—bifocals, plastic surgery, diet, exercise, sleeping patterns, aches and pains—things we rolled our eyes at when our parents discussed them. On a positive note, we’re also noticing the increase in spa packages and spa vacations. It’s a good thing to pay attention to our bodies—and be pampered a bit. Feeling good and looking good (and healthy) keep us productive and young.

Jack Nicholson, who struggled to reconcile his recent retirement in the movie About Schmidt, related to many in the theater audience when he rolled over in bed, looked at his wife of 30-some years, and thought, “Who is that old woman sleeping next to me?” Women, of course, have thought the same. Yes, it was a painful but realistic snapshot of aging.

With medical advances and a focus on healthy lifestyles, a woman’s life expectancy is 80 years on average; for males, it’s just over 74. By 2025, according to recent statistics, life expectancy will average nearly 84 years for women and years for men. Since women can still have babies into their 60s, thanks to modern science, our life expectancy should extend into the 80s on average. I’ve quit trying to guess someone’s age, as there are so many variables. But age doesn’t really matter; it’s all about state of mind.

My 16-year-old daughter recently began a part-time job working with young women her age and several old enough to be her mother. During a “down-load” of her day at work recently, she said, “Mom, I have so much fun! And you know, age doesn’t matter at work. They’re really good friends, and I’m learning so much.” She reminded me that being fit in mind, body, and spirit is a goal at every age!

There are different perspectives on aging. At any age, some become so depressed and inwardly focussed, they not only make their own life miserable, but alienate those around them. Some become bitter and negative; their energy is consumed in hate and fear, causing those around them to leave. Then there are those who choose to focus their attention on all things positive, who continue working past retirement age simply because they love their work and their contributions bring value to those around them.

Or they turn to volunteering, offering a wealth of knowledge and experience. Regardless of age and even in the midst of physical challenges, there are those who are always on the invitation list because they brighten the room upon entrance with a positive spirit. They’re as comfortable talking with a toddler as a CEO or an 85-year-old.

So, upon reflecting this birthday month, I’m making the choice to age with grace and dignity. To keep up appearances with visits to the hairdresser, opthamologist, gym, (body); to take on challenges with enthusiasm (mind); and to offer time and assistance to my children and future grandchildren when they need me, not necessarily at my convenience (spirit).

Tuesdays with Morrie, a powerful book on aging, suggests embracing aging. “As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you’d always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. If you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five.”

Well, I’m a few years from 65 for sure, but the road looks exciting. A heart-shaped paperweight, given to me by my husband, sits on my nightstand. It’s inscribed, “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.” It’s a reminder that birthdays are good days. TPW