A friend of mine apologized for not quickly responding to a recent email I had sent, explaining that in the past six months she had changed careers, was hurt in an accident that left her on crutches and unexpectedly had to spend several weeks out of town to assist her mother, whose cancer had just returned. “I was so excited to begin my new career, and then all of these unexpected life issues got in the way of my plans,” she said.

The next day, another friend told me that her colleague’s family had just moved back to the States a few months ago and were still adjusting to their new home. The husband’s father unexpectedly died before Christmas, his mother became ill, needing help at home and then he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, all within six weeks. How does one cope?

Having been there, I can understand the physical, mental and emotional crisis my friends are going through. The world stopped, it seemed, a decade ago when my late husband was diagnosed with leukemia. How do you wake up, get dressed, put on a happy face and be productive at work? How do you shop for groceries, cook meals for your children, take them to school activities and maintain a nurturing attitude and normal routine? How do you engage in casual conversation with your colleagues when the only thing you can think about is life and death?

And it doesn’t require the diagnosis of a serious illness to become distracted at work—a pregnancy or wedding, an impending move, an unexpected snowstorm or strained relationships with friends or relatives are enough to take your mind elsewhere. Organizing your child’s school fundraiser, planning a vacation, participating in a theatre production, jury duty and even a minor traffic violation can be significant “hassle factors,” taking valuable time out of the day. And just when we think we have our own lives in order, the life issues of others can impact our concentration.

We are paid to be productive at work. Your boss, colleagues and clients all have expectations that the quality of your work will meet and exceed promises. Your livelihood, financial stability and perhaps even your insurance coverage are dependent on keeping up with work. Career advisors suggest that the planning, organizing and compartmentalizing of your time are key to getting through a hectic period in life.

During those months I spent escorting my husband to doctors’ appointments and hospital stays, I actually found work to be a tremendous relief. Concentrating on work issues seemed to bring somewhat of an escape from my personal traumas. The satisfaction of being successful at work during a stressful personal time in life can actually better prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for those challenges.

Just as work can invade our personal time, personal issues can invade our working hours and cause us to lose our productivity. In such times, hyper-organization is critical. Designating “work-only” times and “personal-only” times can help one stay focused. That may mean ignoring emails, text messages and phone interruptions during those times we need to concentrate.

There will never be a perfect work/life balance, but we can learn to manage the issues when one or the other gets in the way. tpw